Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child..Is it Bible?

Recently, Anderson Cooper did a series called “UnGodly Discipline: Spare The Rod Spoil the Child” on two parents from CA who beat their adopted child to death. (see news article here). The parents professed to be devout Christians who simply disciplined all of their kids in accordance with Scripture. The AC360 crew spoke with Michael and Debi Pearl, authors of a best selling book, “To Train Up A Child”, that was found in the home (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3). According to their website NoGreaterJoy.org the name of the book comes from the KJV version of Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is older he will not depart from it”. This is not the first child to die at the hands of parents who embraced this book yet the authors take no responsibility for parents “losing control”.

The pastor/author explained that the Bible calls parents to use a “rod” in the corporal punishment of a child and that the spankings should cause sharp pain. It should be obvious to any rational person, whether Christian or not, that the murderers and the authors are extreme examples which in no way reflect Biblical principles. However, in keeping with the title of the series, there is a generic belief in “Spare the rod, spoil the child” common among Christians in particular. Where does this notion of spanking come from and what does Scripture really say?

 In 1960 a tomb was discovered in central Italy that is from roughly the 5^th century BC. It was named “Tomba della Fustigazione” (Tomb of Flogging) because of the depictions of spanking painted on the walls inside. The fact is that spanking began as an erotic act and/or a fertility aid. The Medieval Era saw the use of spanking expanded to include punishment for crimes/sin (corporal punishment) used by the church and governments alike. This practice didn’t start winding down until the 18^th century, when reform as opposed to strictly punishment was introduced. 

Now, back to “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” First off, nowhere does the Bible say that. The first record of that phrase comes from a 17^th century poetic satire on the English Civil War by Samuel Butler titled “Hudibras” and has nothing to do with child rearing. The specific stanza related to spanking actually had an erotic connotation! It is possible this saying became associated with the church, perhaps, through the delusional “Bayside Prophesies” of Veronica Lueken. She had many visions, during one of which in 1973 she claimed to see St. Joachim (the father of Jesus’ mother Mary according to some traditions but a name not found in Scripture) say, “Humanism in your world has been created by satan. You will bring back the adages of old: Spare the rod and you will spoil the child. Discipline must be returned to the home.” (see the rest of the conversation here). The Catholic church denounced her visions in 1986 for a variety of reasons, though I believe thinking that the Lord is using political satire with erotic undertones to make a point about wholesome child raising is valid grounds to question ones sanity.

In Scripture we do read about “rod” and “discipline”. For example (all NIV but clink on link at end of each Scripture to choose another translation):

“Folly is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him” Proverbs 22:15

“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him” Proverbs 13:24

“Do not withhold discipline from a child, if you punish him with the rod he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death” Proverbs 23:13-14

Does this mean the “spirit” of the saying is validated and God does in fact command spanking, with a switch no less? Absolutely not. Reread the above Proverbs but replace “rod” with “authority” and “discipline” with “teach”. This will give a much more accurate picture of what the people in Solomon’s time were reading.

The word “rod” comes from the Hebrew word “shebet.” Of the 190 occasions this word is used in the KJV it is translated “tribe” 140 times, “rod” 34, “scepter” 10, “staff” 2, etc. Basically, this word is more often looked at as a sign of authority than it is a club. Nowhere is it merely a switch from a tree in the backyard or a wooden spoon.

The word “discipline” comes from the Hebrew “muwcar”. Of the 50 occasions this word is used in the KJV it is translated “instruction” 30 times, “correction” 8, “chasten/chastise” 7 and “discipline”.  Basically, this word means to teach as opposed to punish. It is no coincidence that it is similar to the word “disciple”.

In closing, let me acknowledge that as the parent of two children (and one on the way), my kids have been spanked. I, nor my wife, have ever used an “instrument”-it’s been a swat on the bottom for the most egregious behavior. I don’t know when I will stop spanking them or if I will ever do it again. There is an interesting scientific debate around the effectiveness of spanking, which I have mixed feelings about, but we trust in the presence of God in our lives and the heart/mind He has given us to aid in the raising of our children. I am not trying to encourage parents to spank, or not spank, their children. I believe children are different and it is every parent responsibility to take whatever steps it find effective in raising them. What I do take issue with is the idea that God commands it. I hope I have made the case He doesn’t even suggest it.